One can only imagine the sheer, unadulterated shock to the system for a gentleman accustomed to the rugged, patchy fairways of public goat tracks when he finds himself amidst the leafy, velvet splendor of the famed Fairview Country Club in Greenwich. It is, to put it plainly, a world away from even the Old Course—and yet, the challenges here are as formidable as a cold gale at Carnoustie, albeit significantly more manicured like the women of East End.

 

The true devilry, however, lies in the bent grass greens. In the home of golf, players are accustomed to greens that require a firm thump to move the ball through the morning dew. Here, the greens are so fast they border on the impolite. One touch and the ball is off on a scenic tour of the Greenwich topography. With the recent Rees Jones redesign, the bunkers are sharp, the slopes are treacherous, and "three-putt" has become the most common phrase in the clubhouse—right after "Would you like more ice in that?, and "I'll have another espresso martini please"

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After the round at East End, one first notices the crema. It is a foam so dense, so impeccably tawny, it puts the finest silk upholstery in Mayfair to shame. It sits atop the liquid like a cloud of pure indulgence, a beige crown that refuses to yield. And there, positioned with the mathematical precision of a Swiss watchmaker, lie the three coffee beans. One for health, one for wealth, and one for happiness. At the SHGA we strongly encourage responsible consumption and are strictly against drinking and driving. Be responsible and obey the law.

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